Training Day or Training Table

If any of you have ever seen the movie Training Day starring Denzel Washington...shame on you.  That movie is rated R and for good reason.  No, I kid.  I have seen and I think that it is a great movie of one man's struggle to survive in a world amid corruption, violence, and immorality.  That sounds familiar.  For you Provoites out there, isn't that essentially what we will head out into when we leave Happy Valley?  Enough of my preaching about movies, I'm here to preach about food.  I do love my food.  However, we all know it can be a jungle out there, so when you go to Training Table, watch your back.

            Training Table is a little joint that offers you whatever you might be feeling that day, so long as is a burger, a sandwich, or any other American staple food like salad or soup.  They have a fun little method of ordering food that makes you feel like you are ordering out when really you are just ordering in.   Confusing I know, I am still trying to figure them out.  You think that the cooks and cashiers could use a little break every now and then, instead they are stuffed back there forced to fight the smoke and atrophy from not being able to move about.  Sorry, I got so carried away I forgot to tell you what the method is; they have phones and you order your food through a phone and then they buzz you when your food is ready.  Novel or stupid.  Everyboy needs to feel like they are in some future, super high efficient world every now and then.  I guess it's a nice break from the regular world of waiting for your food standing up instead of sitting down.

            As my buddy was calling in his order, he asked for a commonly referred to sauce for fries known in these parts as fry sauce.  Another orginial name, I love Provo and its originality.  So he asks for fry sauce and the girl says, "Uhm, no, we don't have fry sauce."  Confused, he retorts, "What do you mean; I thought you guys have that special dipping sauce...," 

"Oh, you mean our Training Table Original Signature Dipping Sauce...?!"

"Uhhh, sure...," he states dumbfoundedly. 

Who the heck cares what your stupid name for it is, you know what the guy is talking about!  Don't you just love it  when the waitress taking your order makes you sound like your request is something that only an ignoramus moron would ask?.  Like I'm suppose to know what Apple and Calvados Sorbet is?  I don't think so, French waiter dude.  

            In any case the burgers are delightful and you receive a hearty portion of fries to go along with your meal.  There were not many people there during lunch time which made for a nice atmosphere to be able to have a conversation without wiping off the condensation on your neck from the lady's breath from behind you.  It is a good choice although the price is a little steep; just be prepared for anything.  It is remember...the Training Table (that's meant to be lame for you geniuses out there).

 

Jason's Deli: What you know about that?

“Hey buddy, what can I get for ya’s.”  This phrase is of course spoken to you in a thick and rough New York Queens accent.  Well, that isn’t what you hear when you go to Jason’s Deli but you almost expect to.  They have a great sign out front that is plain but clearly states what the establishment is and who owns it; it is a deli and Jason owns it…oh.  Well, that is original Jason, did you outsource naming your restaurant to an advertising or marketing company?  I mean, honestly, you couldn't have come up with something a little more original than that?  You walk along the street in Paris and they have names like pastry shop, bread shop, or dessert shop, and you just took one of those and threw your name in front of it.  I'm just teasing you Jason of Jason's Deli; actually I think you get the reaction that you wanted from a name like that.  Namely, one of homespun comfort and welcomness.

When you walk in, especially at lunch time, you are met by a line of families and friends who have all come to get a great sandwich and enjoy the experience while they are there.  Have you ever walked into a sandwich place and stood in an awkward line that is wide open to the rest of the joint and you fidget around trying to figure how to stand, where to look at, and what to think?  Well, I have been there many times and it can be unsettling.  Jason however has made the line separate from the restaurant and has placed some photographs of the trendiest places in Europe which give you and those around you some good topics for conversation.  Not to mention you can check out the cute girl in front of you by pretending you are admiring the beautiful presence of the arc de triomphe; she is none the smarter.  It is a great place to take a date, because of its inviting aura and laid back layout.  Do be careful, because of its trendiness you will see trendy people there; especially the guy wearing the rhinestone sunglasses inside and the too-cool for school college kids gracing the world with their presence.  In Jason’s deli, everybody becomes family and everybody in a sense can be trendy just for eating there!  Awesome Bro!

The sandwich selection is great and the meat is fresh.  They make sure that you get your food in a timely manner and it is nice that you can sit down while you are waiting.  Of course the television in the corner showing ESPN and last night’s All-Star game is a definite plus.  The price is great as well.  If you have a few minutes to spare to wait in line and you are looking for a hearty, fun, and light experience all in one, check this place out.  If you see Jason let me know; and complement him on his great deli.

Valentine's Day with Wendy's: No, not sisters, the Restaurant

Wendy's has the classic look that throws you back to the early 90's yet still helps you remember you are in a new millennium.  Why the new millennium feel?  The fact that they have kept up with the other fast food burger places in regards to the size of the sandwich and the classic burger taste.  That is the great thing about burgers.  You can rarely go wrong in cooking it; the problems arise when you try to dress it up with different condiments.; which Wendy;s does very poorly.

            I am disappointed in Wendy’s management and the way that they have disgraced what used to be America’s number one dollar menu.  I use to get the Jr. Bacon with a biggie fries and biggie drink like those things were going out of style.  Now I get a Jr. Bacon and there is a small piece of lettuce, a patty the size of a few quarters put together, and a strip of bacon somewhere in the abyss.  It’s a horrible thing they have done; and what about my biggie fries and drink?  They've taken those off the dollar menu all together!  If you haven’t already noticed, I feel like Wendy’s has personally slighted me.   Putting aside the personal attacks from their food designers, shame on them for such a horrible presentation.  Their burgers look like a bunch of ingredients fell on the ground and they quickly snatched them up and threw them back on in between two pieces of bread, barely accomplishing the task.

            Wendy’s is classic and will always have reserved for it a special place in my cholesterol laden heart.  However, Wendy’s offered a little bit of humor with the meal.  As I was driving away, I looked inside to see all the young and in love, poor college kids eating a cheap yet meaningful meal together; instead, I saw about three or four couples (not in a romantic sense, but a numerical count) of guys sitting down to a much different kind of meal; clearly the kind of meal that you eat with your buddies when you do not have a special someone to share it with.  I just thought it was funny because I was fully expecting a restaurant filled with young love when instead it was your typical testosterone filled, money deprived, impatient for cooking a real meal, college aged guys burger joint.  In recommendation, this goes out to all of you who are looking for a taste of nostalgia in these hard-pressed times of economic uncertainty and pinched wallets.

Get Over It and Get Out of It

Have you ever been to a restaurant that just opened, being drawn in by its gaudy decorations and bright lights like that of a Vegas casino, hoping to hit it big on price and taste?  If you answered yes to that question you can probably guess the follow-up question: did you get what you paid for, or in terms of a Vegas experience, did you come out on top?  If you have ever been to a restaurant and experienced this, then unpack your bags ladies and gentleman because the house is much harder to beat in Vegas than it is in Provo; on most occasions.

            Just last week, I suggested to some of my friends that we go check out a restaurant in local Provo that had recently opened.  At first sight the restaurant gives off a vibrant explosion of reds, whites, and greens in a large banner that advertises a buffet line from three different countries!  Three different countries?!  Well shoot, they must have something I like there!  To be honest, my initial reaction to seeing the restaurant was one of skepticism and just plain indifference.  There used to be a restaurant at that same location, I cannot recall what it was, but it obviously did not have what it takes to cut it in this town of semi-bright lights and bowling extravaganzas. 

            In any case the restaurant is located next to the dollar movie theater in Provo, across the street from Albertsons for the locals.  As you walk up to the restaurant you are greeted by a soft facade of tan with a larger than necessary banner that is just enough to appreciate the new opening and not send you on your way.  As you enter the restaurant, you are greeted by a large glass window that has water cascading down it and sticker fish.  No, sticker fish are not the fish with nasty spikes on its back that stab you as you try to unhook it from your line, they are the laminated paper fish that you can stick on just about any surface.  To your left is a large desk where the cash register is. 

As you are waiting to be seated, you can anticipate a great meal with big fun as you see families and couples there seemingly enjoying their meal.  We walk in and we are seated at a nice, clean bench for four.  That is a plus…the restaurant is fairly clean.  Then we went for the goods.  Oh that we hadn’t. 

We were met by nothing more than your classic cheap, all-pleasing Asian buffet line that serves your classic All-American meal.  You’ve got your fried and white rice, your different varieties of chicken, and some egg-rolls.  On the American and Italian side, I think they had pizza, onion rings, fries, and whatnot.  One thing that surprised me was that they had dimsung.  Wow!  Dimsung!?  That was a pleasant surprise and I heartily walked over, grabbed a couple of pieces and went back to my chair. 

I would like to throw in a disclaimer ladies and gentleman, that I am not a professional food critic or a professional restaurant critic.  I am just an average guy who has had the opportunity to experience a lot of different foods and restaurants and I will share my completely unprofessional, amateur culinary opinion. 

Regarding the dimsung, let me qualify my knowledge here in explaining that I have been to some great dimsung restaurants in L.A.  My friend is Chinese and when we went for a roadtrip to his house in L.A., his father treated us to dimsung right out of China.  The waiters, the waitresses, and the hosts did not speak English, to us anyways; and 95% of the people there were Asian.  So, I have had good dimsung and greatly enjoyed it; except in this case.  It is hard to explain in words the difference between this buffet dimsung and the restaurant dimsung, but maybe I can use a metaphor that you all might understand.  If you have ever had the dollar pizza-in-the box that you can get at the grocery store and then bit into a classic homemade pizza, you can tell the difference and it is noticeable!

That about sums up our experience.  I ended up paying about fifteen dollars with tip and a soda.  I walked out of the restaurant feeling like I had been taken by the house.  My good-ole buddy the stomach wasn't agreeing with the food.  I would not recommend this restaurant to any of my friends or to any families with small children as they had the television on that was showing an R-rated movie made for television, yet never the less violent.  If you like to eat a lot of food and can take the sub-par taste of the food, then go for it.  If you do not believe me, check it out for yourself; just bring some pepto-bismol and the amount of money that it would cost to get a great meal at a local Brazilian spit grill (Tucanos).