Regain

You say I have to be the one to lift?
You say you don't know, you say you can't
imagine, colors of blue, red, yellow, what
adventure each will bring. You admit yourself
you don't know much about vitality, what it
takes for the heart to keep bleeding. Thomas
Edison found 9,999 ways not to make a lightbulb;
I'm on about 1,348 ways not to be happy. What
more could I ask for but but blacks, blues,
and chartreuse? Couldn't. Can't. It doesn't get
better than this. Anyone thinking otherwise is
missing out on the great joy of failure. My goal
is striving, seeking, finding. My end is joy,
nothing more than nothing less of elevated soul,
complete procurement of pain martyred.