Yes!! No...wait, do you want me to answer that seriously or do you want me to give you you the socially perfunctory answer that everyone wants to hear because they don't really want to hear about your life because 99% of people 98% of the time only care and think about themselves? This was the beginning of a conversation I had with a dear friend last night, of which was returned the answer, 'of course I want the truth or I would not have asked.'
The truth is that, no, of course I am not happy. How many of us are happy in the truest sense of the word? I think very few of us are. I think very few of us let ourselves be happy and I think very many of us are stupid enough to keep our thoughts to ourselves and not find good advice and support from the people around us. My posts always end with some optimistic outlook on a bleak situation, exerting universal paradigms that we know happy people have themselves, hoping our paradigm will turn with time. The issue lies deeper than a change of mind, deeper than a universal truth, deeper than immediately accepting someone else's outlook on life to give life a pretense of fulfillment.
So many answers, I will not attempt to explicate our problems of unhappiness and find the cure-all for our problems in life. I might be a billionaire if I was able to do that. I think instead I will start from the bottom, from what I know: I know I am unhappy and I know I am unhappy because there are so many things that I desire to have in my life that are not in my life and I attribute the reason for those things not being there to my own laziness and fear. Good, now we are getting somewhere. We are seeing ourselves for what and who we are right now. Our problems lie in the times when all we see is what we could be, where we could be, and who we could be. I am going to see myself for who I am, accept myself as I am, and blog from there. I am just going to experiment in this step and try to be comfortable in the skin I live in now, not imaging myself being comfortable in a skin that I might eventually be in.
i think the reason we're unhappy is a reason to be happy; we're constantly striving for eventual perfection. which may seem ridiculous, but from a gospel standpoint...that's all we can do. we know that there's so much more that we're capable of, and that we can attain, that we're never content. but really, isn't that great? the constant search for happiness quietly refines us until we look back and realize this incredible mountain that we've climbed, and what we've become along the way. :) you're great, jon michael.
ReplyDelete