Catch-22

Wow. I am simply amazed by Joseph Heller's talent in writing such an honest, perversely humorous, and morosely depressing book. The theme in the book is simply amazing; his use of elevated language in such a degradative setting spews out the stark contradictions and irony's in this short experience we call life. So the main point of Catch-22 is that the main character wants to stop flying missions during World War II; now here is the kick in the ass that many of us will recognize somehow, if not consciously, in our own lives-- if he goes to his commander claiming insanity as a reason for him to be grounded, the commander knows immediately he is not crazy because only a rational person would recognize that flying the missions is crazy--i.e. only a crazy person would fly the missions and they do not know that they are crazy.

This kind of blows my mind. Trying to think of some catch-22's in my life leaves me certainly in want, I don't fly a bomber plane and I am not surrounded by salacious girls and subversive situations. How about this for a virulent catch-22: humility. I want to be humble and come off to others as being so, yet when I try to be humble, recognizing my humility, I immediately lose all credence to my humility and plunge right back into the forefront of being prideful. Therefore, the more I TRY to enact humility, the more I oppositely impose pride. Life's a bitch ain't it?!

What are some of your Catch-22's?

Embrace Yourself, We Are Divine

The true source of our suffering has been our timidity. We have been afraid to think...Let us dare to read, think, speak and write...
-John Adams

Amen.

I WANT TO GO HOME!!!

This sucks. 10 to 25 inches of snow has blanketed the Metro Area with some areas receiving up to 30 inches. This storm is the biggest December storm on record and is the only December storm in the top ten currently coming in at number seven surpassing the Blizzard of '66. I hate snow and I am sick of being in Provo. The only redeeming quality of Provo, UT is the people that I love that are here...guess what...they all went home for the holidays!! I thought the following quote was very apt for the occasion.

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo

Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy and savor every moment you have to live and love.

Sir Paine, Thomas, Man of Wisdom

"These are the times that try men's souls."

Where have the years gone? What has happened to me? So many opportunities have presented themselves and I have let them pass by; as a river's water carries it downstream it never will see that bend in the river again, that sand, silt, and those rocks, forever lost to the vast ocean to which our opportunities inevitably flow. I've let go of so much so often; I've let love slip through my fingers, I've let my dreams become nothing more than fantasies. Where am I headed? To what end do I set myself up for? Why so many wasted years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds? WHY?

The times that try men's souls are the times that whisper him to give up, give in, and give away. There is no nobler vocation than the pursuit of Happyness. There is no holier and higher calling than being a Man or Woman.

Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.

If I die in pursuing my dreams, than God bless me. If we should lose our lives in pursuing our principles and hopes, we couldn't be happier. It's a scary thought, but my conscience, heart, and soul are nudging me; telling me it is time to go; telling me it is time to live. If I perish on the precipice of hope, than I perish to Heaven's highest virtue.

Shel, Steve, and Jesse

LISTEN TO THE MUSTN'TS

Listen to the MUSTN'TS,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me --
Anything can happen,
ANYTHING can be.

--Shel Silverstein

You mustn't take risks
Don't try anything that you know you won't succeed in
You shouldn't dream dreams that are only fantasies.
It's impossible to be the writer you dream about
It's impossible to find someone you love and who loves you back
It's impossible to change the world
It's impossible to change yourself
You'll never have happiness
You'll never have wealth
You'll never have eternal joy

Listen close to me.....
Anything can happen,
Anything can be.

Please tell me your dreams that everyone has told you are impossible and with all my heart and soul I tell you right now that I believe in each of you, individually and personally.

Where We Go

Often I think of tasks, chores, goals, works, actions, innumerable things to do before I get to where I wanted to go. Sometimes I wonder how I will ever get there. How did you get there?

Often I think of how much work successful writers and people in general put into their profession. How much work did you have to put in to get there?

Often I think of the sacrifices I will have to make to reach my destination, many sacrifices that I still need to make. How much have you sacrificed to get there?

Often I think of opportunities that lie ahead of me that if taken will prove fruitful and vivacious. What opportunities are you waiting for to get there?

Often I think of characteristics that I lack yet believe I can acquire. What characteristics have you acquired to get there?

Often I think of the grand end of me, me the potential that translates into fulfillment. What is your potential in getting there?

Are our dreams frivolous? Are they unrealistic? Are they too big or too far away for us?

I'll be damned if you tell me they are because I just don't believe you.

Love's Last Meet

I dream't about you last night
Where we'd go and what we'd do
I dream't about you last night
Wish I'd woken up with you

I dream't about us last night
Holding hands and walking 'long
I dream't about us last night
The world's perfect love song

I dreamed a nightmare, horrible and dark
I never found you, never heard our song
I dreamed a nightmare, frightening and deep
You never came, the world stood me up
Conspiring against me it took you

I've never seen or heard so beautiful
As you I saw and dream't
I dream't about you last night
Held perfect in my arms

I dream't about us last night
Your kisses magic charms
I dream so much I often find
That without you, I lose all peace of mind

Please, Hold me Tight and look into my Eyes
ask me that question, barring truth's demise
Now, forever, infinite it abides
My love for you coul'n't be as real
If only you were as real as my love

I'd with my kiss, your lips our true love seal
But not now, I haven't you as yet
I'll dream and dream and dream, of you
Always I will dream
I'll wait forever, your soft touch to redeem
Worth all life, the best a man can dream.

I dream't about you last night
You took my soul away
I dream't about us last night
I'd gladly give it any day.

Now I lay my head to sleep
Hoping one more time to meet
you in the deep.

If I never woke again with just you in my mind
I would live forever, your love all conquered time.

Live It Up

This is untitled, from a lecture, by Dr. Steven Walker (with an excerpt from Tennyson's Ulysses), English Professor, Brigham Young University.

"The long day wanes, the slow moon climbs,
The deep moans round with many voices.
Come, my friends, 'tis not too late
To seek a newer world."

If Jess Walker were here with us, my father, arguably the finest father in the history of the western world, whom I used to wheedle into coming to class to tell us what life was about, he would say: "Go for it."

When Dad turned forty he said "Life begins at forty." When he turned fifty, he said life begins at fifty. He said it at sixty, and seventy, and eighty, and would have said it at ninety if he hadn't died a couple of years short of that.

He loved to quote the Savior saying "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." That's what Dad would say, did say so often I can hear it still echoing through these academic corridors:

"Live.
Live it up.
Live right here, right now.
There is only you.
You are a unique event.

There will never be another Steve Walker,
and if you don't live his life now,
it will never get lived.
No matter how infinite your celestial kingdoms,
no matter how eternal your eternal lives,
you will never have more life
than you have now.

It's now or never.
Live it up, folks.
Live it up."

"Though we are not now that strength
Which in time past moved earth and heaven,
That which we are, we are:
One equal temper of heroic fates,
Made weak by time and fate
But strong in will to strive, to seek,
To find, and not to yield."

Man, I wish I could find it within me to live to my fullest. I am trying day by day to drink from the fountain of life that is passion and vision. We have such a short time, let's not waste it on frivolous things, meaningless activities. Rather, indulge in loving relationships, let yourself love, and let yourself be loved, indulge most of all in the passions that you have discovered within your soul. Take every moment of living as a precious sip from that well of life which inevitably dries up when the time is past.

Somein', Somein'

I am going to start changing things around a bit. I have been reading some other people's blogs and more often than not, I am inspired, motivated, lifted, and most especially, in awe. To read other's thoughts and views on life puts me in a different driver's seat, viewing my life through other's lenses gives me a sense of how life can be lived.

I can't remember who said it, but I have tried to make it a priority maxim in my daily interactions, paraphrasing it, it ends up somewhere along the lines of, "Every man or woman I meet is my better in some way. In that, every new person I meet brings a new lesson to my life." It is amazing what we can learn from other people if we open our eyes, ears, and hearts to the beauty of every human soul we come in contact with.

For a closer, I saw a James Dean poster that read, "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." If you look at your life, wishing you could change certain things about yourself, overcome fear and timidity, and have your dreams become reality, think about what James said. Think about it when you go to your next interview, when you talk to the next guy or girl you see for the first time as your heart races and your knees buckle, when you are told that you don't have the talent, skills, or abilities to accomplish your goals, and most importantly, when you fail, fail, fail, and fail again, Think about it.

Been on Vacation

Hi everybody, I know I've been away for a awhile, but it was well needed, trust you me. Aubry you are right. I am going to try to write more, I have a feeling though that my blog might morph into something completely unrelated to food.

Actually speaking about food and excersise, maybe I will share with everybody how I lost 10 pounds of fat in a month while gaining muscle at the same time. It wasn't easy but holy crap it is worth it. That is why I might stop eating at restaurants and getting their big signature dishes. I'm not sure though, but I have been missing writing, even if I'm not too good at it, I do love it.

FIVE GUYS FINALLY!!

O.k. ladies and gentleman, let me start out with a disclaimer: Am not responsible for extremely, better than In-n-Out, burgers and fries!  This should actually be Five Guys disclaimer.  I love this place.  Starting back east it became a fast food sensation quickly and easily.  You cannot beat a fresh made burger with any toppings that you want.  You certainly cannot beat the fry guy taking his big fry spoon and literally pouring the fries into a brown paper bag.  The bag is literally fulled to the brim with fries.  Not just any fries either.  These are fresh cut, thick, and the juiciest of fries.

Just be careful what time you hit the place.  If you plan on taking it for all it is worth, because it is a steal, make sure that you hit it at the right time.  During lunc time there is a very long line.  I would say that after about 2 is perfect.  When I had to wait in line I waited about 20 minutes.  It moves quickly and the hustle and bustle of the place provies some excellent interaction and observation.  Be ready to feel like you are in New York, as the food is amazing and the people are coming.

Cafe Rio for Real

Mexican food at its best; not totally authentic.  Actually, I like authentic Mexican food very much; I lived in California for two years and I had it all the time.  Cafe Rio is the American version with the Mexican foundation.  The burrito and the salad are the two things that the locals go there to partake of.  I love the burrito assembly line.  This restaurant is extremely effective.  Even when there are 20-30 people in line, you get through in very quick and efficient manner, which is generally not seen in popular and high-traffic restaurants.  They've got it down.  

The salad that I had included black beans, pork barbacoa, and a tangy green salad dressing which puts the Rio above the local copycats.  It filled me up for the rest of the night and there was definitely oppurtunity to take that thing home and finish it later.  For the price of a burrito you are getting a huge meal or two, one to eat the next morning for lunch.

It is a very fun place to go and poeple watch.  I have not figured it out yet but popular places like the Rio draw all sorts of cats from all sorts of crowds.  Specifically, places like these draw the trendy and 'cool' of the local populace.  My buddy made a remark that could not be truer in an area where the sun has trouble shining a majority of the day during the winter.  "Somebody should tell that girl that being blonde and going tanning does not make you hot."  It's true.  Provo has an interesting mix of people from all over the country, particularly from Utah, Idaho, and California.  The trendy girls from Utah love their blonde hair and their brownish orange tans.  I think this is their way of feeling like they live near the beach, which is clearly the coolest place to live by, even when the ocean is about ten hours away.  I love this town and in fact I love blonde girls, especially the ones that are natural (for the most part...is any girl really truly blonde these days?)  I am sorry but I just can not resist.  I have to comment on what I call a Utah mom.  A Utah mom is a mother, usually of at least two, perhaps as many as four, that is generally in her thirties and dresses and carries herself like she is still in college.  It is hilarious.  I mention it especially in Utah, because where I am from, the women who want to dress and feel young do so in the fashion of the day, not in the college fashion.  Sorry, I could not resist.

Anyways, if you want to get a feel for the culture of Provo, go to Cafe Rio where the cool, trendy, and just plain, like myself.  There is definitely some great people watching oppurtunities to go along with a great meal!

What's the capital of Thailand?

Is this a restaurant or a hair cuttery?  When I used to get my hair cut ( I generally do it myself these days) I would go to Joe's Hair Cuts  back in Northern Virginia or the new 6$ hair cuts here in Provo.  Most places I got my hair cut in were these skinny little spaces in a strip mall type business.  So when I walked into Bangkok Grill in Orem I was half expecting to get a meal with my haircut.  The space is rather small yet it is very cozy.  As small a restaurant as it is, you will have plenty room to fit a small to medium size party and be far enough away from the other tables that you still have your privacy.  It is a small family owned restaurant and the owner and his family are ready to make your experience as pleasing as possible.

The food isn't half bad either.  To be honest, I can not judge the authenticity of the food there because I am not a Thai connoisseur nor did I order an authentic Thai dish.  I guess it could have been authentic, like I just said I wouldn't know the difference either way.  I got fried rice with Asian sausage and beef.  It wa good.  I would not call it extraordinary as it tasted like many a fried rice I have gotten at many an Asian restaurant.  The food came out quickly though and in a very nice sized portion.  

Just make sure that you bring a canteen with you filled to the brim like you would if you were crossing the Sahara desert.  They are very slow in filling up your water and you have to stare the waitress down if you are thirsty.  It was a pleasant experience and a place that I might go again if I were craving a taste of Thailand.

Training Day or Training Table

If any of you have ever seen the movie Training Day starring Denzel Washington...shame on you.  That movie is rated R and for good reason.  No, I kid.  I have seen and I think that it is a great movie of one man's struggle to survive in a world amid corruption, violence, and immorality.  That sounds familiar.  For you Provoites out there, isn't that essentially what we will head out into when we leave Happy Valley?  Enough of my preaching about movies, I'm here to preach about food.  I do love my food.  However, we all know it can be a jungle out there, so when you go to Training Table, watch your back.

            Training Table is a little joint that offers you whatever you might be feeling that day, so long as is a burger, a sandwich, or any other American staple food like salad or soup.  They have a fun little method of ordering food that makes you feel like you are ordering out when really you are just ordering in.   Confusing I know, I am still trying to figure them out.  You think that the cooks and cashiers could use a little break every now and then, instead they are stuffed back there forced to fight the smoke and atrophy from not being able to move about.  Sorry, I got so carried away I forgot to tell you what the method is; they have phones and you order your food through a phone and then they buzz you when your food is ready.  Novel or stupid.  Everyboy needs to feel like they are in some future, super high efficient world every now and then.  I guess it's a nice break from the regular world of waiting for your food standing up instead of sitting down.

            As my buddy was calling in his order, he asked for a commonly referred to sauce for fries known in these parts as fry sauce.  Another orginial name, I love Provo and its originality.  So he asks for fry sauce and the girl says, "Uhm, no, we don't have fry sauce."  Confused, he retorts, "What do you mean; I thought you guys have that special dipping sauce...," 

"Oh, you mean our Training Table Original Signature Dipping Sauce...?!"

"Uhhh, sure...," he states dumbfoundedly. 

Who the heck cares what your stupid name for it is, you know what the guy is talking about!  Don't you just love it  when the waitress taking your order makes you sound like your request is something that only an ignoramus moron would ask?.  Like I'm suppose to know what Apple and Calvados Sorbet is?  I don't think so, French waiter dude.  

            In any case the burgers are delightful and you receive a hearty portion of fries to go along with your meal.  There were not many people there during lunch time which made for a nice atmosphere to be able to have a conversation without wiping off the condensation on your neck from the lady's breath from behind you.  It is a good choice although the price is a little steep; just be prepared for anything.  It is remember...the Training Table (that's meant to be lame for you geniuses out there).

 

Jason's Deli: What you know about that?

“Hey buddy, what can I get for ya’s.”  This phrase is of course spoken to you in a thick and rough New York Queens accent.  Well, that isn’t what you hear when you go to Jason’s Deli but you almost expect to.  They have a great sign out front that is plain but clearly states what the establishment is and who owns it; it is a deli and Jason owns it…oh.  Well, that is original Jason, did you outsource naming your restaurant to an advertising or marketing company?  I mean, honestly, you couldn't have come up with something a little more original than that?  You walk along the street in Paris and they have names like pastry shop, bread shop, or dessert shop, and you just took one of those and threw your name in front of it.  I'm just teasing you Jason of Jason's Deli; actually I think you get the reaction that you wanted from a name like that.  Namely, one of homespun comfort and welcomness.

When you walk in, especially at lunch time, you are met by a line of families and friends who have all come to get a great sandwich and enjoy the experience while they are there.  Have you ever walked into a sandwich place and stood in an awkward line that is wide open to the rest of the joint and you fidget around trying to figure how to stand, where to look at, and what to think?  Well, I have been there many times and it can be unsettling.  Jason however has made the line separate from the restaurant and has placed some photographs of the trendiest places in Europe which give you and those around you some good topics for conversation.  Not to mention you can check out the cute girl in front of you by pretending you are admiring the beautiful presence of the arc de triomphe; she is none the smarter.  It is a great place to take a date, because of its inviting aura and laid back layout.  Do be careful, because of its trendiness you will see trendy people there; especially the guy wearing the rhinestone sunglasses inside and the too-cool for school college kids gracing the world with their presence.  In Jason’s deli, everybody becomes family and everybody in a sense can be trendy just for eating there!  Awesome Bro!

The sandwich selection is great and the meat is fresh.  They make sure that you get your food in a timely manner and it is nice that you can sit down while you are waiting.  Of course the television in the corner showing ESPN and last night’s All-Star game is a definite plus.  The price is great as well.  If you have a few minutes to spare to wait in line and you are looking for a hearty, fun, and light experience all in one, check this place out.  If you see Jason let me know; and complement him on his great deli.

Valentine's Day with Wendy's: No, not sisters, the Restaurant

Wendy's has the classic look that throws you back to the early 90's yet still helps you remember you are in a new millennium.  Why the new millennium feel?  The fact that they have kept up with the other fast food burger places in regards to the size of the sandwich and the classic burger taste.  That is the great thing about burgers.  You can rarely go wrong in cooking it; the problems arise when you try to dress it up with different condiments.; which Wendy;s does very poorly.

            I am disappointed in Wendy’s management and the way that they have disgraced what used to be America’s number one dollar menu.  I use to get the Jr. Bacon with a biggie fries and biggie drink like those things were going out of style.  Now I get a Jr. Bacon and there is a small piece of lettuce, a patty the size of a few quarters put together, and a strip of bacon somewhere in the abyss.  It’s a horrible thing they have done; and what about my biggie fries and drink?  They've taken those off the dollar menu all together!  If you haven’t already noticed, I feel like Wendy’s has personally slighted me.   Putting aside the personal attacks from their food designers, shame on them for such a horrible presentation.  Their burgers look like a bunch of ingredients fell on the ground and they quickly snatched them up and threw them back on in between two pieces of bread, barely accomplishing the task.

            Wendy’s is classic and will always have reserved for it a special place in my cholesterol laden heart.  However, Wendy’s offered a little bit of humor with the meal.  As I was driving away, I looked inside to see all the young and in love, poor college kids eating a cheap yet meaningful meal together; instead, I saw about three or four couples (not in a romantic sense, but a numerical count) of guys sitting down to a much different kind of meal; clearly the kind of meal that you eat with your buddies when you do not have a special someone to share it with.  I just thought it was funny because I was fully expecting a restaurant filled with young love when instead it was your typical testosterone filled, money deprived, impatient for cooking a real meal, college aged guys burger joint.  In recommendation, this goes out to all of you who are looking for a taste of nostalgia in these hard-pressed times of economic uncertainty and pinched wallets.

Get Over It and Get Out of It

Have you ever been to a restaurant that just opened, being drawn in by its gaudy decorations and bright lights like that of a Vegas casino, hoping to hit it big on price and taste?  If you answered yes to that question you can probably guess the follow-up question: did you get what you paid for, or in terms of a Vegas experience, did you come out on top?  If you have ever been to a restaurant and experienced this, then unpack your bags ladies and gentleman because the house is much harder to beat in Vegas than it is in Provo; on most occasions.

            Just last week, I suggested to some of my friends that we go check out a restaurant in local Provo that had recently opened.  At first sight the restaurant gives off a vibrant explosion of reds, whites, and greens in a large banner that advertises a buffet line from three different countries!  Three different countries?!  Well shoot, they must have something I like there!  To be honest, my initial reaction to seeing the restaurant was one of skepticism and just plain indifference.  There used to be a restaurant at that same location, I cannot recall what it was, but it obviously did not have what it takes to cut it in this town of semi-bright lights and bowling extravaganzas. 

            In any case the restaurant is located next to the dollar movie theater in Provo, across the street from Albertsons for the locals.  As you walk up to the restaurant you are greeted by a soft facade of tan with a larger than necessary banner that is just enough to appreciate the new opening and not send you on your way.  As you enter the restaurant, you are greeted by a large glass window that has water cascading down it and sticker fish.  No, sticker fish are not the fish with nasty spikes on its back that stab you as you try to unhook it from your line, they are the laminated paper fish that you can stick on just about any surface.  To your left is a large desk where the cash register is. 

As you are waiting to be seated, you can anticipate a great meal with big fun as you see families and couples there seemingly enjoying their meal.  We walk in and we are seated at a nice, clean bench for four.  That is a plus…the restaurant is fairly clean.  Then we went for the goods.  Oh that we hadn’t. 

We were met by nothing more than your classic cheap, all-pleasing Asian buffet line that serves your classic All-American meal.  You’ve got your fried and white rice, your different varieties of chicken, and some egg-rolls.  On the American and Italian side, I think they had pizza, onion rings, fries, and whatnot.  One thing that surprised me was that they had dimsung.  Wow!  Dimsung!?  That was a pleasant surprise and I heartily walked over, grabbed a couple of pieces and went back to my chair. 

I would like to throw in a disclaimer ladies and gentleman, that I am not a professional food critic or a professional restaurant critic.  I am just an average guy who has had the opportunity to experience a lot of different foods and restaurants and I will share my completely unprofessional, amateur culinary opinion. 

Regarding the dimsung, let me qualify my knowledge here in explaining that I have been to some great dimsung restaurants in L.A.  My friend is Chinese and when we went for a roadtrip to his house in L.A., his father treated us to dimsung right out of China.  The waiters, the waitresses, and the hosts did not speak English, to us anyways; and 95% of the people there were Asian.  So, I have had good dimsung and greatly enjoyed it; except in this case.  It is hard to explain in words the difference between this buffet dimsung and the restaurant dimsung, but maybe I can use a metaphor that you all might understand.  If you have ever had the dollar pizza-in-the box that you can get at the grocery store and then bit into a classic homemade pizza, you can tell the difference and it is noticeable!

That about sums up our experience.  I ended up paying about fifteen dollars with tip and a soda.  I walked out of the restaurant feeling like I had been taken by the house.  My good-ole buddy the stomach wasn't agreeing with the food.  I would not recommend this restaurant to any of my friends or to any families with small children as they had the television on that was showing an R-rated movie made for television, yet never the less violent.  If you like to eat a lot of food and can take the sub-par taste of the food, then go for it.  If you do not believe me, check it out for yourself; just bring some pepto-bismol and the amount of money that it would cost to get a great meal at a local Brazilian spit grill (Tucanos).